a pathological fear of rejection and perfectionism

#A PATHOLOGICAL FEAR OF REJECTION AND PERFECTIONISM HOW TO#

Why is too dangerous to be a perfectionist? They do not accept praise or criticism because they are never satisfied with what they have achieved. We could define the profile of the Christian perfectionist through the following characteristics: just like Ananias, perfectionists are never satisfied, they are critical of other people, they set impossible goals for themselves, they value themselves for what they do and what they have, instead of valuing themselves for their identity in Christ. If the pastor asks them, “how is everything?” They answer: “Oh, pastor, everything is fine here, perfect.” If the family is having any kind of problem, such as the single daughter getting pregnant or if there are marriage problems at home, they pretend everything is fine, perfect, with problems. Nowadays, the families of church members who are like Ananias have no room for error because they live with the illusion of perfectionism. Those Christian perfectionists like Ananias do what they have to do in the church to maintain their image as good Christians. They showed false fidelity to enjoy prestige among the other members of the church, and they did not mind trying to deceive the Holy Spirit. They were afraid that the brothers and sisters in the church would notice their inability to live up to them and thought they would not be accepted if they were recognized as being below the Barnabas family and their commitment to God. In Ananias and Sapphira’s story, it is shown how they had a distorted image of the members of the church. They have an image of a God as a perfectionist, and He will punish us for what we do wrong. If you do not do good before God, He will punish you: “Get off the tree or God will punish you,” “don’t ride a bicycle because God will punish you” … and many other misperceptions of that type. They thought that God does not accept anything other than perfection.įrom a perfectionist’s point of view, we have to at least pretend that we are good before God. They had a distorted image of God, they perceived Him as a perfectionist. In the Bible, we can find the story of Ananias and Sapphira, who had traits of perfectionism.įrom the evidence presented by the biblical text, I cannot determine whether Ananias and Sapphira had pathological perfectionism, but I am sure they were Christian perfectionists who tried to be perfect by their means. There are two types of perfectionists: the pathological perfectionist and the one I call a “Christian perfectionist,” who tries to save himself/herself even when separated from God. So, the perfectionist says: I cannot be happy if it is not perfect, excellence says: I will be happy with the best of me the perfectionist says it is painful to fail, and the one who wants excellence says: failure is part of life. The perfectionist says: the best of me is not enough, the one who wants excellence says: I am pleased with the best of me. There are differences between the demands of the perfectionist and the desire for excellence. And they say this without understanding the consequences this type of personality can have. Many people say: I like to do things right, perfectly, I and am a perfectionist. Statistics on this matter say that more than 80 percent of the population recognizes being led by perfectionism in certain areas of their lives. And because of this, this type of person tends to feel disappointed and frustrated when they find that they cannot do more to improve themselves or what is around them. But the perfect thing does not exist, nothing and nobody is perfect. For a perfectionist, anything less than magnificent is unacceptable.

#A PATHOLOGICAL FEAR OF REJECTION AND PERFECTIONISM HOW TO#

It is not bad to want to improve an attitude or to want to do your job in a better way, but this type of personality can be dangerous if you do not know how to control it. With good performance, they pretend to be what they are not and have peculiar characteristics.Īre you a perfectionist? Do you think that everything you do is flawed and can be improved, even at the expense of your health and your money? A perfectionist is a person who refuses to accept things as they are and is always looking for mistakes to fix and reach perfection. They disguise themselves behind a facade.

A pathological fear of rejection and perfectionism